Goodnight, And Goodbye .

-
-
-
See ya around.
-
-
-
(miss.me?)

Stranger Than Fiction

is a really. Really. Odd movie.
Not one of Mr. William's best I must say =S
Indeed, Sunday Bloody Sunday it is .
Naked laundry day for me as a matter of fact.
1 day till the guitar tour.
This better be betetr than I expect. Unfortunately I've already made it too big, so it will probably never live up to it's standard.
Or maybe it will.
I'm also really looking forward to try and get a chance to chat with Wyatt. I really do miss that lug !
ASk him to a lunch or something . Yeah. :)

But keep telling yourself, everything will be alright.
Everything is just fine.
Natural, let yourself live. Give yourself a chance -
Stop dwelling upon this.. this.. feeling. It means nothing.
You mean nothing. You know that is not true.
You know.
THIS
IS
RIDICULOUS.

isha

The Reason

I delete so much is because my mood changes every 3 seconds .
Don't get mad Dorothy ! Or anyeone else for that matter.
I hate posting my shit mood blogs so I try to avoid that as much as possible .
Because I know that it will be okay the next or next few days .
And I don't like feeling like a whiny bitch, but I am just that sometimes .

Currently . I am just trying not to get ahead of myself. Which is VERY HARD.
And I am trying so hard to keep one interesting ambition to myself, because it could be jinxed.
Hell, it's already been jinxed. But no more will it be spoken. Least I think .
Because I am always unlucky and it always unhappens.
Unhappens is not a word but I was just trying to make a word pattern there .

whoa
i forgot i was blogging. been learning c&c songs to pass the time

all your friends seem like enemies
when you're broken down and empty
ooh oooh

You Think You're Boring !?

I don't. I think I'm the one whose boringggggggggggggggggg.
I'm bored with myself. And I make up horrible stories cuz I have an overactive imagination .
And nothing to occupy myself with . And it's so fucking cold, so I can't reabilitate myself to rollerblade yet .
EXCUSES
EXCUSES
I know . Weather really makes all the difference.
TAKE ME TO BRITISH COLUMBIA NOW .
3 more days . Three. More. Daiz z.
Although , this tour is not picture perfect .
For 2 reasons.
1
i don't get to do karma police bof days.
2
you're not coming .
(you
is
PLURAL. )
(thrice)
you(pl.) don't get it,
but I do .
whoa

A Scrub Is A Guy Who Can't Get No Love From Me .

LOL I LOVE THAT SONG SO MUCH AGAIN .

Okay .
So.
Does ANYONE want to come toWarpedTour + Calg Zoo on Aug 12-13 .
Like. I dont want to go alone
Megan and Bree are supposed to come
but they never have definite plans . So like
and I wanna see SHAD like. A LOT /// :S
let me go get the list.

3OH!3
A Day To Remember
A Skylit Drive
Aiden
Alexisonfire
Attack Attack
Bad Religion
Bayside
Big D and the Kids Table
Black Tide
Breathe Carolina
Broadway Calls
brokeNCYDE
Cash Cash
Dirty Heads
Echo Movement
Escape The Fate
Every Avenue
Forever The Sickest Kids
Gallows
Hit The Lights
I Set My Friends On Fire
In This Moment
InnerPartySystem
Less Than Jake
Longway
Madina Lake
Meg and Dia
Millionaires
NOFX
P.O.S.
Passenger Action Rock
Saosin
Scary Kids Scaring Kids
Senses Fail
Shad
Shooter Jennings
Silverstein
Sing It Loud
Single File
Streetlight Manifesto
TAT
The A.K.A.s
The Architects
The Devil Wears Prada
The Good Times
The Maine
The Reverend Peytons Big Damn Band
The Set
The White Tie Affair
There For Tomorrow
Therefore I Am
TV/TV
Ultimate Power Duo
Underoath
Valencia
VersaEmerge
We The Kings
Westbound Train
You Me At Six

okay so there's like 5 i NEED to see ... the other 4 are just like.. if i had a waste a day at warped i would go see them ..
then there's a bunch of stupid emo bands that are gross .
but i really do wanna see alexis .. and baddies .. and underoath.. and SHADDDDDDDDDDDDDddd
uhm...
fuck ....

GET OUT SCREAM

Oh No .

Sing this Lullaby to yourself !

Lost And Found

I am giving up again .
I need this guitter trip to just like. Go away and enjoy for a week :)
I think I am REALLY going to need that Cuba trip in Gr. 12 ... Like. Around this time I always give up and hate school .
Arvin made a really good point today: He said, "You know who I haven't seen in forever? " who. "DOROTHY" LIKE FUCK ! DOROTHY . I haven't SEEN you in person in forever, and I miss you too ! Sure we talk msnz, comments here and there but. Stop hanging with Mac kids and be with us on Fridays. If you still like us lol. <3 !
Right now I feel like I'm losing myself a bit.
I want to feel as great as I did on my Valentine's Day blog. I seriously felt invicible for some reason .
There is something weird going on that I don't like. And . "The guns in the bag"

i
s
h
a
a
a
a

YOU CAME UP WITH A BREEEZE

ON SUNDAY MORNINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

- Sorry, this turned out REALLY LONG. If you care, please read :) I want all to. If you really don;t you MUST AT LEAST READ MOMENT OF THE DAY . But read this all cuz your my friends. and COMMMENT --

I actually wrote down what i wanted to blog today ,
but the list is downstairs and i am WAY TO LAZY to get it. make it up as i go along here .
Speaking of throwing up , I have been like. Eating HORRIBLY . Like CRAZY it's fucking sick , for the past 2 days .
I want to throw it all up and go rollerblading till i collapse . but I FUCKING CANT CUZ IT"S FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE .
I am sooooooooooo TEMPTED to make a list right now , but surprisingly my will power is really strong on this addiction .
Oh, Isha , you're being over dramatic ! NO , I AM NOT . Making lists like. I WAS ADDICTED .
I thought it would plan out my life , make me achieve the "goals" i wanted to .
BUT NO> it did nto. however, i am discreetly listing them in this blog .

So I'm really sick of my immaturity . I know I am . Like. I dunno . I'm sick of gr. 11 . I'm done . Out . Enough . I want to get over this , I want everything to calm down and be okay , I want us all to calm down and be okay . Like everyone goes or is going through this weird . Area . Period . I really don't wanna say the word "stage" , it's gay .

WHOA MY LIGHTS JUST FLICKERED . anyways .
Like today , I was pretty fucking sad in the morning, I was seriously considering one of my dad's anti-depressant pills , hoping that it would fix everything and make that sick, constant feeling of endless black hopeless shit go away , yeah . I didn't , that'd be way stupid . Plus I know that it doesn't just take one ... ;)

I dunno . I just wanna have a good time . I want to go outside and DO things . I want to live . Get my tattoo . Ride that fucking mindbender . I also am craving to travel . Like Cuba is sounding better and better EVERYDAY Larrie . I really wanna smoke cigars on the beach now .

I guess I'm just buying a Warped Tour Ticket tomrrow by my self ... no one is confirming they're going and like. It's annoying. I'll just go by my fucking self if i have too =S

Neil Young makes you happy :) I'm glad . It'll be good .

Like. July 16 .... Like .... when some people say that my favourite band is gay like. Whatever you don't like them , but keep it to yourself please and just be happy for me that I am going to be SO HAPPY ON THAT DAY like NO ONE AND NO FUCKING THING is going to stop me on that day . No Doubt being my second favourite band . Like I don't even care just lie to me and be like OMG YAY ISHA . Like. That's just.

Ah. I must sound dumb as fuckkkkkkkkkkk

I regret not taking choir, but don't at the same time. If only it weren't in block fucking 0 . the it would be hands down. Whatever . Stick to singing in guitar , and at home by myself. And when I walk home from the bus .

SPEAKING OF GUITAR.... Trip in 7 days . YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
So no big first show , Kevin opens the show singing Girl, and I close it singing Karma Police . Must blow B.C. ers out of the mother fucking water. And then I do bass on I Will Survive for BOTH concerts ! and singing Killing Me Softly avec Danielle BOTH CONCERTS too . Yikes. I hate that song.

Speaking of Kevin & I mentioned Larrie.....

MOMENT OF THE DAY:

Kevin: I like to party on days that end in y ... !
(Moment of silence)
Larrie: Ohhh haha I get it ! ... Wait, except Thursday ... ? ?. .. ?

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
cyasuckers, this is thriller.

I Am Crazy .

Lol
I had a lot of opinions to say tonight , unfortunately I have literally forgotten all of them.
The only I can remember is one that no one really wants to here , it's very unattractive. Only Ellie know what I am doing tonight .
If I remember them I will most defintely blog them .
Dear Blair your car that's not really yours is SO SMALL and so cute.
Dorothy his car would suit us little ones so well ! I love it.
Hmmmmmmmmm
WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING TO SAY >......
I hate when this happens !
\
ONE DAY THEY'LL ALL SEE ....
ONE DAY-ONE DAY
THEY'LL ALL BE CHEERING FOR YOUUU
THEY'LL ALL BE CHEERING FOR YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Fuck You Michelle Branch

Never listening to that again .
I'm too lazy to post comments on everyones blogs, so I'll just write it here.
My universal opinions...

DEAR DOPO .
WORD. Fucking WORD mang , my father is the same way , as you read in my Milk blog ?
I got hit for thinking 'tis not a sin to be homosexual .
I wish you went to jp . :( But I suppose it's just ONE more year , when uni comes it should even out .
Unless you go to McGill LOL . Shit .. Uh ...
....
<3
OH AND I TOTALLY THOUGHT of you when i picked my picture :) it also conveys how i feel right now .
"Life is Good. Everyone just overreacts. Even me ."

Dear Larrie
Lists are like sins to me . I used to make a million and 3 lists a day and they would never get done . They'd just make feel like a huge fail lol . I mean , you can do whatever you like , but . Lists are a NO NO on my list . Also , I wish you went in guitar 20 >:< that is all .

Those were just the specifics . The rest of you are pretty cool people .
Lindsay Callin added me on facebook the other day . VERY odd . Just to get 438 friends on fagbook and say omg I'm cool but I don't talk to 3/4 people hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Uhm . As for that .... we'll see what happens .

Bye

Breathe Out

So I can breathe you in .

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I dunno . Pretty blank to day , nothing good , nothing horrid .
Just that pit feeling today.
I counted , 88 days until something I know that's going to be a highlight of life will happen ...
Otherwise , I feel gross today .
Sometimes I wish you just desensitize yourself when you felt like it , turn off all human emotion .
Change my mind .
I really like the new picture in the top of your blog Ellie .
I need a new one but have NO IDEA what to put .
The old one is a tribute to my nex . The video of the song MakeDamnSure by tbs . Now that's gotten old .
Ooo I have an idea ... may or maynot work .

Well In Summary .

I don't deserve some of the friends I have .
Sometimes I wish this blogger wasn't this public, but oh well . You told me not to delete it . So now you know how I feel for this little moment in time .

-You . Please don't scold me for saying it again , but I did a TERRIBLE THING the other day , you did not deserve that load shitfuck . I was naive, and did not think from your point of view in the midst of my angry and confused hormones . I still feel so ashamed of myself today , I can hardly look you and myself in the eye . At first I said to myself , "somwfriendIam" but you ... you didn't care ! It was natural ? ! If it was natural , it was WRONG . And I'm going to be true about everything from now on . I am most afraid that you won't value me as a person anymore , that maybe I am as shallow and disgusting as I feared . Whatever , just know I do believe you when you say it was not a huge deal . I just can't believe myself . Give me a hug and tell me what you feel after you read this okay ? Pretty much tell me it's going to be alright, if it's the truth . Which I believe it is . Okay I'll stop .
-You . You mean the world to me , and if I lost you I don't know what I would do . The trust in this friendship is 17 hundred thousand billion times more important than anything else , and I fully understand that . I am not taking it for granted, and not anymore . I can't honestly say I fully understand what you're going through . But everyone has up up ups , and way low downs . Right now it may seem as though sadness is inevitable , but you're going to get to a point in life where everything is going to balance out . You're going to find the one who's perfect, find something , some purpose to do in life , and you are going to be successful , as long as you make the effort to want to live . And I mean really live . I believe in you okay kid? You'll make it .

Help I'm Alive

My heart keeps beating like a hammer

You are Blair .

I like that title :) lol

SO LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAA when did Metric get a new album ?!?!?!

Gonna go get THAT tmr .

holy shit

i just realized i havent talked to moustafa in like

16 days

i am a terrbile child :( and now he's leaving for 3 days

and fuck :( and i say shit when he's mean

but how can i disrespect him like that cuz he is the BEST

and worst at the same time

one day he'll be gone forever , and that day , so will I .

I need to take a step back , stop being so selfish and greedy , appreciate what I HAVE .

I almost don't wanna get the tattoo or two because of him , but I can't forget my personality amonsgt trying to be a good kid ,.

Lets remind ourselves what my first one will be

:)

Thoughts & opinions ?

And if you didn't know , I'm Egyptian so that's the reason this one means a lot to me . I juts feel like it'd suit me sooooo well and I'd be really cool . Lol .

My mind is racing . Gonna go try and sit with daddy ,

Catch You If I Can

Dorothy please get better !
That sucks :( I know I want to DIE everythime I get sick .
And . You don't have menopause lol. You are just in the BEGINNING of you're menses phase .
Long way to go sweetie .Trust me .
I'm a Bio 30 graduate . Lol .
But maybe look up other causes of hot flashes ? I think you're just stressed. I bet.

Other than that ... I don't really have anything else to blog about .
However . Parents are going out of town again ... I want to have a small thing ,
but I am like SUPER AFRAID they set up a camera or are sending a neighbour to check up this time .
Call me paranoid , but fuck you . If I got caught this time .... I PROMISED I wouldn't do this ...
Something is gonna bite me in the ass , I feel it .
But maybe all could go well .
But we HAVE to keep it clean . In fact I might force us outside if it's warm .
Driving you to school on Friday morn ?

(Keep a calendar, this way you will always know .)

I Should Be More Excited About Thurs + Fri + Sat ,

But as for today , I'M FUCKING NOT !
and you know why .
Just take a look out you're window .
Whatever the weather portrays , is how I feel .
So you'll always know :)
The Weather Network will be the death of me .
I'm not jinxing as I am typing with crossed fingers and feet ;

Sorry . What else is there to blog about ?

Last One To Die

Mmm thanks for the heads up b/.
It's very good ; I too will engrave the new album into my head within the 4 day period .

You know what , I'm feeling really bitter right now .
This is the second time I've written out a big blog and erased it .
Maybe it's my guitar , maybe it's my father , maybe it's school, maybe it's that mysterious secret , maybe it's the year, maybe it's you , maybe IT'S ME .
I feel like something is fucking stabbing at me tonight, and I don't know what . Whatever it is .
Fuck
You
I need someone in particular to make me feel happy again .

Peace

So Believe Me

it's not easy ... it seems that ,

SOMEthing's telling me I'm

In Too Deep & I'm tryin' to keep

up above in my head

instead of going under.

--&Stupid blogspot ruins my shot :(

Many Shades Of Black

Go ahead , go ahead ,
smash it on the floor .
Take whatever's left, and take it with you out the door .
See if I cry , see if I shed a single sorry tear .
I can't say that it's been that great -
No infact, it's been a wasted free year .

***
Take it as it comes , and be thankful when it's done .
There's so many ways to act, and so many shades of black.
***

Let it out . Let.It.All.Out.
Say what's on your mind
You can kick and scream
And shout and say things
That are so unkind ...

`Sorry for posting a boring song lyric ,
but it fits my set of mind today , and what's been going on . down . up .
I felt in control for a moment there ,
now I lost it again . Great .

3rd Time's The Charm ?

I just cannot decide what to blog today .
Deleted 2 already , what should I end with ?

What A Catch .
Pce .

Yellow

Has suddenly become an anthem for me .
An inspirational letter left me in what where almost tears .
Good for you kid , really . We'll ALWAYS be here .
This type of situation scares the shit out of me however .
But I try not to think of it too much , just enjoy the good things while they last .
Someone important told me that . It's every bit of truth .
And speak of the devil , got Blairsef to make a blogspot !
ADD HIM .

For now I have nothing left to say , but something ould possibly be sturring .
I feel like I feel something , but I could be tricking myself out of utter boredom .

Isha .

New Post

Lol . Uh oh .
Bring On The Rain is starting to be a very lovely song to sing for me right now .
MAYBE i'll try it out in guitar / i really need to practice shit ...
practice KP , le beet els . Evrything .
Fuckkkkkkkk
I love guitar :)

I wanna go to London and walk Abbey Road .
Walk the streets of Spain
Kick the sand in Sydney .
Photograph lions in Kenya .
Visit my family in Egypt .
Smell the delicious bakeries in France .
Taste beer in Amsterdam .
Breathe in Nepal .
ETC
ETC
ETC

-Jealousy , is an emotion that needs to be cut out . If possible .
Not right .
Maybe it's jsut something I can't admit
But lately I feel I DONT GIVE A SHIT /

Isha

Your Words Are Like Knives

How perfectly does that describe things .
Ugh . Dallas Green, why did you marry Leigha Miller or whomever that bitch is and not me ?
I dunno .
School .
Again .
Poop .
Not sure who or what or where or when I want ;
do I deserve anything I want ? (No replies please, just pondering)
Need to earn it , whatever it is

PAYCE

TOC

Exactly what I needed .

Oh my fuck I feel good .

Got scratched in the mouth however, kinda gross . No marks.

Almost broke my arm for SURE though , I definitely felt it bending at odd angles, a horrible sensation .

Feet have been stomped on more times than in my soccer career , lol .

Met the beautifully British Oliver SYKES in the food court , it's okay.

My shot of him from Warped last year , forogt my camera today

My bra strap came un-done, interesting .

Cancer Bats , YES . Yes yes yes .

Pierce The Veil --> fell in love with bassist at autograph session

Four Years Strong (boring).

Thursday, didn't see. Merchh.

BMTH ..............................................................

500 greasy emos, drunk men , tattooed women, blazed girls, GORGEOUS boys eep . What can I say . I even met Yana haha . I knew I was going to .

Ugh it just felt so good getting lost in the crowd today... I felt .

It just feels really nice to let go liek that , especially after today's fight with birth mother .

That's the way I like to escape , not through drugs or alcohol.

Just loud muse and pushing and jumping and rocking and falling and getting back up and doing it all over again

It's been my first concert since October, so that's 1,2,3,4 months since I've been .

I forgot how much I loved that dirty scene .
\Good

Today

was and still is a bad day /.
I haven't been THIS annoyed at my mother in quite some time ,
it's been pretty easy dealing with her lately, but not today .
She has to make this day SO FUCKING COMPLICATED ,
like I was just going to go to this concert and drown my head in screamo
I wish I could invisbly label her forehead with I'M A BIG BITCH SORRY and only I could see it. Lol . that would make me feel so much better at times like these
and she
Oh would you look at that !
She JUST went and dumped a garbage into my room :)
Like opened a used garbage bag and dumped her on my floor . Nice
really
REALLY
nice
wow
uhm
i don't really know how to feel at this point ....
and i even stand up for her when others say shit and this is what I get.

bye





:(

YA OKAY EDMONTON

KEEP SNOWING IN APRIL .
Fuck.

Sleeping Sickness (Featuring Gordon Downie)

In the past few days :

-I have done nothing at all , including NOT PICK UP A GUITAR which is despicable
- Gotten brutally April Fooled by Kyle, honestly I was SO IMPRESSED , I was not expecting that at all /. Well done :)
- Basically prevented a catastrophe in my house ; my big chandelier in the front of the house like came out of it's socket in the ceiling !! It was pretty scary seeing it happen but I saved it by tieing all my belts together and looping it through the chandelier and attaching it to my railing so the weight was taken off. The whole thing woulda fallen if I didn't . Guys are coming to fix it tmr I guess. But that was eventful .
-Which led to my family fighting , me getting religious pamphlets thrown at my face , and escaping my mother's death grab driving to Elina's house. If that made any sense. I'm too tired to explain .
- I worked at my father's clinic today , yay . I gotta do it tomrrow unfortunately TOO . but when mother offered to pay , I said NO , put it towards the thought of buying me a car. Lol. I hope that works =S
-OKAY YAY SHAD IS PLAYING AT CALGARY WARPED TOUR !!!!! I was about to like not go for sure but now I'm inspired . And we have to go to the Calgary Zoo we canNOT FORGET THAT . Good okay .
-So Warped, BoonStock?!!!!!!!!!? really want to go too but dont kow if it's possible.
. . . PARAMORE. . . . NO DOUBT . . . .
(they deserve their own line . sorry) RA + RANCID ! Oh shit I still owe you 50 bones.
Lol I wrote owe as oh . I'm stoopid
Or just tired.
- I kinda have more thoughts but I can't really think right naw , and dayum I missed 11:11 !

But omg I'm going on a date with Arvin and his dog tomorrow ?
Isha