Well In Summary .

I don't deserve some of the friends I have .
Sometimes I wish this blogger wasn't this public, but oh well . You told me not to delete it . So now you know how I feel for this little moment in time .

-You . Please don't scold me for saying it again , but I did a TERRIBLE THING the other day , you did not deserve that load shitfuck . I was naive, and did not think from your point of view in the midst of my angry and confused hormones . I still feel so ashamed of myself today , I can hardly look you and myself in the eye . At first I said to myself , "somwfriendIam" but you ... you didn't care ! It was natural ? ! If it was natural , it was WRONG . And I'm going to be true about everything from now on . I am most afraid that you won't value me as a person anymore , that maybe I am as shallow and disgusting as I feared . Whatever , just know I do believe you when you say it was not a huge deal . I just can't believe myself . Give me a hug and tell me what you feel after you read this okay ? Pretty much tell me it's going to be alright, if it's the truth . Which I believe it is . Okay I'll stop .
-You . You mean the world to me , and if I lost you I don't know what I would do . The trust in this friendship is 17 hundred thousand billion times more important than anything else , and I fully understand that . I am not taking it for granted, and not anymore . I can't honestly say I fully understand what you're going through . But everyone has up up ups , and way low downs . Right now it may seem as though sadness is inevitable , but you're going to get to a point in life where everything is going to balance out . You're going to find the one who's perfect, find something , some purpose to do in life , and you are going to be successful , as long as you make the effort to want to live . And I mean really live . I believe in you okay kid? You'll make it .