I think we have an Emergency

I'm having a bit of an identity crisis today .
Or no , I don't know how to describe this , just a feeling of insecurity today .
I feel like I'm running out of time for something .
Like I'm just wasting this space of life I have , I should be living it to the fullest .
Second - second last - year of highschool , and I'm scared today .
I don't know where I'm going after hs , what I'm going to do with my life .
I don't have a plan , a single plan. Social & Math 20, I have no inspiration for .
I'm only going to concentrate on my 30 courses , the most important , so I can get somewhere with them afterwards .
I think I'm just getting a little exhausted , I need Christmas break . A break from school , and break from my parents , a break from life .
It could honestly just be my room that's dragging my down , a project that feels like it's never going to get finished .
I got my shiny balck back pack today , it's pree hawt .
All I need is a little blush , that black vest and lavender hat from Urban Outfitters , and I'll be set for a new year .
*Sigh* I feel a bit better now that I've written it out . I think everything will come into place, as it should .
I just . Don't wanna loose my closest friends . You're all I got .
Which reminds me .
Deep Dark Secret #1.5 : ____________________________________
Actually, I was about to tell you , but then I decided not too .
Maybe if I keep it to myself, it'll come true.
I need to find you .
My Blue Heaven just popped up on my shuffle . It seems fitting to my predicament right now . I love you TBS . Pull me out everytime .

Luv Luv Isha .

"And it's all too familiar ,
And it happens all the time ,
All the cards begin to stack up,
Twisted heartache into fine
Little peices that avoid an awful crime but it's ,
You I can't deny (You I can't deny) . "